Good morning, everyone! It’s July 29th, and I’m out on the second half of my morning walk in the neighborhood. These walks are truly a highlight of my day, offering a peaceful start to my thoughts.
A Special Birthday and Enduring Love
Yesterday was a poignant day. My sister, Kathy, who is a year younger than me and dealing with severe dementia, celebrated her birthday at the nursing home. My older sister, Brenda, my nephew, Shane, and I gathered to mark the occasion. Kathy absolutely loves sweets, and she devoured three cupcakes in quick succession! We had to gently distract her and remove the rest, which, thankfully, she’s easily diverted from.
While she didn’t show any outward signs of understanding it was her birthday – no joy or recognition – we felt it was important to be there for her. Brenda and I visit as often as we can, though for me, it’s been about every other week lately. Brenda also has her own health challenges, but she makes the effort. We deeply appreciated Shane coming along as well; he seemed to enjoy being there. Our hope was simply to bless Kathy’s day.
The sad reality is that I’m sure she didn’t remember our visit once we left. However, she does recognize us when we’re there. She remembers seeing Brenda and me, and she’s always happy to see us, often wanting to hold our hands or walk with us. I believe that’s a sign that she remembers the love, and she feels safe in our presence.
Embracing Life’s Big Questions
Lately, I’ve been enjoying a book about living with the questions – the idea that some questions are so vast that we can never fully answer them. Instead, we keep bringing them up, allowing our minds and inner guidance to reveal small insights we can integrate into our lives. We’re not seeking a definitive answer, but rather deepening our understanding of what it means to even ask the question.
One such profound question for me is: “What does it mean to live a life of loving-kindness?” This is certainly a question one must “live into.” I recall first hearing about the Loving-Kindness Meditation, also known as Metta. It’s deceptively simple, often phrased as, “May all be happy; may all be healthy; may all have peace; may all be loved.” At first, I didn’t find it particularly profound. You’re meant to sit, breathe, and extend these wishes to specific people, your country, your family, and even yourself.
But increasingly, I’ve come to see it as one of the most profound practices a human being can embody. When you truly realize that we are all one, then unhappiness anywhere, even in the smallest fraction of humanity, affects us all. This realization instantly challenges me, especially when I think of opportunistic politicians, ministers, or corporate figures who seem to prioritize only their own well-being. To sit and genuinely wish them peace, love, joy, health, and happiness forces me to confront my own biases. What kind of person am I if I can’t extend that wish to everyone, not just those I already love?
There’s a scripture that speaks to God’s love for all of us and the commandment to love one another: “How can you say you love those you haven’t seen if you don’t love those whom you have seen?” This applies perfectly to the challenge of loving-kindness, wishing it for everyone.
From Judgment to Objectivity and Compassion
One practice that’s helping me in this journey of loving-kindness is to shift my responses. Instead of immediately judging an unpleasant person, place, or event as “good, bad, right, or wrong,” I try to simply state, “That’s what it is.” It’s about acknowledging what I objectively see, without adding judgment.
There’s a strong urge within me to judge injustice and inequity, but judgment often gets in the way of true loving-kindness. Objectively observing a situation, and then extending loving-kindness, seems to be the only logical and reasonable path forward. I genuinely desire peace, love, health, justice, and kindness for everyone, not just my loved ones, but also for those who challenge me the most. In doing so, I become a more powerful, loving, peaceful, and kind individual myself.
Ultimately, I can only change myself. Regardless of all the things in the world I wish were different, I’m the only one who can change me. I must remember this, not to give up on what I can do, nor to blind myself to the injustices around me. Instead, I ask, “What is the state of the thing that’s going on?”
For so long, I was programmed by my politics, religion, education, and country, unable to see the systemic injustice and shadow sides around me. I’m truly committed to working on this now – to not be so defensive of what I perceive as good or important, but to learn to see more objectively. If something is good, great. If it’s not, I must accept it with compassion and ask, “What, if anything, am I able to do?” When I can’t do anything, the very least I can do is practice the loving-kindness meditation for the injustice I witness.
Loving-kindness is something to be lived into, not just spoken. The universe provides ample opportunities every day to practice it. I have a choice: dwell in anger, denial, or defensiveness, or remain focused and reasonable, acknowledging the failings of all systems, good and bad, and learn to live into goodness.
You might argue that to embrace loving-kindness is to make a judgment about what is loving and kind. And yes, it is. I am asking for all the help and guidance from my spiritual guides, ancestors, and personal experience to show me how to live a more loving and kind life – one that values service, helps rather than harms, and leaves room for change instead of judging, shaming, or blaming.
My life’s programming has made me quite critical and judgmental, and at times, unkind in my thoughts. While I rarely act unkindly towards others, the judgment can still reside in my heart. I need to cultivate a more open, loving heart that wishes good for all people.
I’ve even started signing all my emails and writings with “Peace and all good things, David Lowry,” as a conscious effort to embody this intention. I think a wonderful mindfulness routine would be to walk down the street and wish peace, happiness, kindness, and love to everyone I see, including strangers.
Living a loving-kindness life also means being willing to step forward and help when we can, without being overly vigilant or becoming a “rescuer” when people should be helping themselves. It’s about offering encouragement, ideas, coaching, love, and acceptance, without imposing our views or taking on their burdens.
This “living into the question” of how to be a loving, kind person aligns with a principle I learned in a 12-step program: we cannot do this on our own; we need help. This is why I pray to my angels, spirits, and guides to show me how to live into this question – to be long-suffering, slow to anger, patient, and to embody the fruits of the Spirit: peace, love, joy, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control. These are the nine virtues I hold dear.
This loving-kindness extends beyond humans to animals, trees, our planet, and Mother Earth. It extends to the oceans and even to beings we haven’t met but who are assisting us from “the other side.” I’ve been told that my mother, who has passed on, knows when I remember her and send positive energy. I want to believe that, and I believe it’s important to extend loving-kindness to those who have departed this world, as they too are continuing their journey of growth on the “God continuum.”
I believe the Loving-Kindness Meditation is a gift from God, perhaps given through enlightened beings like Buddha and Jesus, who represent God incarnate – a way for us to grasp the divine. They exist in a state of perfected love, a love so immense I can barely imagine it. One day, I hope to rejoin and find healing that wipes away every tear from this earthly life.
The Loving-Kindness Meditation is a beautiful, ancient, powerful, simple yet profound gift – a question that one must live into and continually learn from. And now, it is my question to live into, my purpose. I may frame it as: “How does one live the Loving-Kindness Meditation?” And I am asking for all the help and guidance my spiritual guides, friends and loved ones on the other side, ancestors, and personal experience can give me.
That’s my thinking for this morning. Thank you for listening.
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