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Three Administrative Fables

Let those who have ears to hear–and eyes to see–listen and read these stories of administrators and learn.  May you have the courage of interpretation!

Fable 1: The Rock

Once there was a powerful Administrator who served an even more rich and powerful king.  (This Administrator was so powerful that he could command that his title always be capitalized.) This Administrator called in his lowly wage earner (but faithful) servant and said:

“Bring me a rock!”

The servant replied, “Oh great and powerful Master, what kind of rock do you want me to bring you?”  To which the Administrator replied,

“Just go and bring me a rock!”

So the faithful servant went outside in the cold looking for just the right rock.  When he found a suitable one, he brought it before the Administrator who looked at it and said:

“That’s not the rock!  Go once again and bring me a rock!”

My understanding is that the servant is still bringing the Administrator one rock after another and has been doing so for several years. (I told you that you would need ears to hear what is being said!)

Fable 2: The Three-Legged Hog

Once a vacationing family was traveling in the back woods when they happened upon an old retired administrator sitting in a rocking chair upon the front porch of his cabin with a three-legged hog laying prostrate on the porch in front of him.  The visitor began speaking with the old man and asked,

“What happened here?  How come this hog has only three legs?”

The old administrator said, “Now this here hog ain’t like no other.  Once when we were asleep in the cabin, the stove caught afire and if it hadn’t been for the screeching of this hog, we’d all have been burned to death!”

“So, did the hog lose his leg in the fire?” asked the visitor.

“Naw” said the old administrator, “He didn’t lose it in the fire. But there was a time when all of us were in the car when the motor stopped leaving us on the train tracks.  The train was bearing down on us and we would have surely died if this here hog hadn’t butted the car off of the tracks.  Yes sir, if it t’weren’t  for him, we’d all have died!”

“So,” asked the visitor, “Did he lose his leg to the train?” ”

Naw,” said the old administrator, “He still had all his legs after that.”

In exasperation the visitor asked,  “Exactly how did this hog lose his leg?”

“Well now.” replied the old administrator.  “A hog that good–it wouldn’t be right to eat him all at once!”

Fable 3: The Devil and the Administrator

There was once a failing administrator who was worried about losing his job.  He was staying late on the job one night and reminiscing in his mind about the times when he had been successful and no one dared to question his power or authority.  As he pondered losing it all he said in a heavy sigh, “I’d give anything to be the successful administrator I once was!” As soon as he said that he heard a giant POOF sound.  As the smoke cleared he perceived a familiar figure.  The devil asked, “Did you say you’d do anything?  It just so happens that I can help you”  “How?” said the administrator.  “Well, it will cost you your soul, the soul of your wife and the soul of each of your children.”  With a puzzled look the administrator looked at the devil and said, “I don’t get it, what’s the catch?”

So good reader, take heed for there is much to learn before one can hope to reach these sublime heights.