The Hierarchy of Idiocy
I am going to state the obvious here–but maybe do it in a way that you’ve never thought about before. What I will do is explain for you in a neat and and tidy way the Hierarchy of Idiocy. We all live in a twilight theater of the absurd–a society of idiocy! Rules and regulations that make no sense whatsoever enforced by people who wouldn’t recognize clear thinking if it bit them on the nose! You know, the school principal who sends the preschooler home for making the hand sign for a gun? So called educated people making decisions that would make our ape forbearers turn their heads in sideways puzzlement. Like Maslowe’s Hierarchy of Needs, the Hierarchy of Idiocy is shaped like a triangle with the penultimate idiocy at the very top. Here goes.
The Rock Solid Base
The metaphor befitting this level is a rock. For rock is necessary to support the heavy base of the federal government. Here we begin to notice that the usual skills of IQ don’t actually work here. It matters not if you are a republican, democrat or confused–the solid base of idiocy is what holds the entire hierarchy together for the “common good.” Without this, the whole thing might collapse on itself causing an “intellectual spring.” Legislators state that we should run government more like a business–but in the entire history of the republic there has not been one with enough sense to run a business. At this level of idiocy the actually substance of an idea does not really matter. What does matter is whether or not the opposite side can muster enough votes and hostile media to oppose and/or gridlock the proposed legislation back into the formless void from which it sprang. Ideas which would have provided world peace and every person a gold brick have been successfully opposed. Next we progress to…
The Bark around the Tree
The next level is idiocy composed of those who run state government. It’s metaphor is tree bark. It’s not very smart but nothing gets in or out. These are the people who think it’s a good idea to let beer crazed college students carry concealed weapons on campus while cutting funding for education–thereby insuring a perfect storm of unmovable teachers meeting an equal and opposite unstoppable force of well armed pupils! These are the protectorates of the citizenry who propose legislation outlawing the wearing of yoga pants in public and the legalization of marijuana Far out!.
The Soft Squishy Center
As we move closer towards the tip of the Hierarchy we have municipal government which is the soft squishy center of Idiocy, The metaphor here is the Jelly Fish. There is no real brain here–just people who hang around with stinging tentacles. You may have heard that you cannot fight city hall. Actually you can, it’s just that nobody notices with all the other fights going on. The screaming that you hear is the pain of raw flesh being slapped by the tentacles of misplaced permits and workers who give different answers to the same question asked only a few moments apart.
The Apex of Idiocy
We now arrive at the mountain top–the Apexic glory of idiocy. Actually there isn’t much to see at this level except the large crater caused by those lower on the hierarchy. Here we find our local HOA-homeowner’s association! These are the people who cite you for flying a flag on the 4th of July while overlooking the 50 foot yacht on the driveway across the street. These are the people who ensure that one does not paint gazebos “the wrong color of white” while letting the neighborhood sign fall down in disrepair.
And there my friends you have it--The Hierarchy of Idiocy! Inescapable, ubiquitous and everywhere about us. There is nothing more ridiculous than the federal government–unless it’s the state government. And there is nothing more ridiculous than the state government–unless it’s the city government. And there is nothing more ridiculous than city government–unless it’s your homeowner’s association. You have been warned!