This is Jane’s new swing set. We bought this for her shortly after my son and his family bought their first home. It seemed the time had come for them to leave the small apartment they had been living in since their early marriage to buy a place of their own. There comes a time in everyone’s life when they begin seeking this elusive place of their own.
As you can see in the picture, Jane is exploring her new playground set, and before long, she will consider all of the things in the home and yard as part of her stuff. She will buy into the culture around her, with all of its programmings, and consider all of these things as important for creating a sense of place. Most of all, she will come to know who she is via her looking glass self, which is that constant reflection of praise and condemnation the world sends her way. None of these things will be who she truly is–but it will take many years for her to discover the “truth of Jane.”
Things aren’t what make a home a place of its own
For me, the notion of a place of our own goes deeper than the ownership of material things, my accomplishments, or the power of my mind and understanding, even though all these are certainly a part of it. Most people are never fully comfortable with their thoughts, ways of doing things, looks, who they are, what they have, and maybe more importantly, what they don’t have. Any lack of acceptance of the self is distressing to the soul. Because deep down, all the soul wants is to be unequivocally and unconditionally loved for who and what it is. Alas, that is something our ego is unwilling to do–except for those extreme narcissists among us.
Comfortable in Your Own Skin
A true place of your own begins by being comfortable in your own skin, and that is a life journey that takes years of reflective work for most of us. To become a true friend of oneself and soul is one of the greatest milestones of the human journey. As one becomes more awake and aware of the nature of their soul, they find there is a great cause for celebration. The spark of the Divine within us loves us without regard for any of the things the ego says we must have in order to be loveable. We are deeply loved–no matter who we are and what we have done. This eternal spark is our true nature. The personality, and all that goes with it, can either be united with our true nature or wander aimlessly on its own until it discovers the Pearl of Great Price of which Jesus spoke.
Uncovering the True Self
Uncovering and accepting this fact brings the turmoil of the inner critic to an end. This moment when we come to peace with our true nature it becomes possible for us to end the drama wars we have been waging these long years with ourselves and others. No longer do we need to resort to the violence that comes from judging, shaming, blaming, criticizing, overly insisting upon our ways of seeing the world, or acting as though we are the final arbiters of all that is just and good. No longer do we rely upon the systems of religion, philosophy, education, economics, sociology, politics, and the like to tell us what is right and proper for our world. We become Spiritual Sovereigns who learn to detach and let go. We follow the eternal wisdom and leading of our divine spark.
Detachment Brings Peace
This detachment is that which was spoken of by the Great Buddha thousands of years ago. The peace of detachment is that which was described by Jesus the Christ as “The Peace that Passes Understanding.” This self-knowledge is that which was carved above the Oracle of Apollo at Delphi which said, “Know Thyself.” For those who truly arrive at this point, it becomes the ground zero of our awakening. We find that we have come home and now have a place of our own.
Acceptance gives the Soul a place of its own.
In the past, our accomplishments were born of need, greed, fear of failure, and a desire for self-satisfaction born of our soul’s restless search for something better. Once we come home, our new work, which often looks like the old work, becomes focused upon helping others from a place of pure altruism and a desire to share that wonderful light within to those caught in the great delusion as deeply as we once were. Our goal now is to bring everyone home so that everyone may have a place of their own.